Finding a Partner

Either I’m picking the wrong men, or… something is wrong with me.

Hailing from a family that didn’t encourage emotions or boundaries, it’s not surprising that Jenny was struggling with her intimate relationships.

Often, difficult emotions inundated her – the moment she sensed a problem – she pushed her unassuming guy away as she tried to work out or avoid her feelings.

It seemed that she was an expert at picking men who triggered her abandonment feelings.

After several short and disappointing relationships, Jenny finally made a positive choice – to seek help – and found her way to my office.

Leave the past behind.

Together, we addressed her past trauma. She learned how to be present with, feel, accept her emotions, and learn what they were trying to tell her. She got better at listening to herself if something didn’t feel right and investigate what was really going on. And she addressed the problems, both the ones in her mind and the ones with the guy.

She became savvier at noticing others’ behaviors and more effectively saying no when she didn’t like something.

Walking away from a less than ideal situation was hard – but also empowering.

She decorated her world in new ways. She now has confidence, joy, and the expectation that things will work out – and they are.

Begin a new, sound relationship.

Starting a new relationship or ending an old one can be a challenging time in someone’s life.

Transitions aren’t easy – even if they’re positive, because change is hard.

And then there is the disappointment of lost dreams.

Maybe, like Jenny, you’ve told yourself something like: “I seem to attract the wrong people,” or “It just isn’t the right time,” or “My picker is broken.” But those excuses aren’t helping you feel better or have what you most want in life.

Lately, you recognize that the very thing you’re craving – what you desire most – seems to terrify you – both not getting what you want and getting what you want!

You end up pushing everyone away.

And deep inside, you’re worried that you’re always going to be alone.

Avoid repeating history.

Before you enter a new relationship, it can be beneficial to understand what happened in the last ones and identify what you’ve learned about yourself.

Sometimes, we don’t see the “red flags” and wind up in a situation that we don’t want to be in, and then get stuck there for longer than intended. By reflecting, you can address any unresolved pain/hurt, so you don’t bring it with you into your present experience.

You can get crystal clear on what is really important to you, allowing you to create what you want in your next relationship.

Therapy can be a wonderful time to slow down and allow yourself to identify, work through, and transform your fears and pain – into positive expectations for the love relationship you so desperately want.

While we all carry our own “baggage,” it is important to have the insight to recognize it, so you can gain the tools you need to avoid letting history repeating itself.

Let me help you break the cycle.

The therapeutic process will allow you to clarify what’s holding you back and find the steps you need to take to move forward.

Reach out today (541) 668-5288. Let’s prepare you for a love relationship!